We Know Pheromones Are Detected By The VNO

What was especially tough for Tony was that he had invested a lot of time, hope, and energy -- as well as thousands of dollars -- in other coaches who reinforced the idea that he needed something interesting to say by feeding him clever lines or conversation topics. To invest yourself completely to improve at something -- yet to still fail -- sends a powerful message: “I’ll never get this, my fears were right, women could never be attracted to someone like me when using real pheromones.”

While Tony's rut was deeper than most, it's very common for the clients I work with to try to always have the “right thing” to say to the women -- and yet this pressure to perform inevitably make them the most nervous. That should come as no surprise when we've been raised as a culture on movies and television shows wherein the hero seems to inevitably win the girl with some witty banter or clever line. This is then reinforced by the dating advice industry which was born in the same culture, 99% of which teaches lines to say and stories to tell in order to win a woman over. It's really no wonder then that one of women's most common complaints about guys is, “It doesn't even feel like he's listening to me, but rather just waiting for his turn to talk about pheromones.” Learn more at http://www.dezurik5k.com/asking-for-more-pheromones/ and http://webstyletalk.net/how-pheromones-really-work-update/

We know pheromones are detected by the VNO. We've all heard how important “active listening” is, and we all make an attempt to at least appear as though we're listening. We make eye contact -- not in a vulnerable way, but rather “looking at her face because that's what you're supposed to do.” So we gaze and smile and nod so that the other person won't notice how we are constantly jumping into our head to see if what they've said so far gives us anything to say next. Then we coast on autopilot with our “active listening” skills intact, keeping tabs on what we were going to say so we don't forget. We then offer a bland, “oh, cool” or “really, awesome,” often cutting her off before she was finished -- because we weren't actually listening closely in the first place -- so we can quickly launch into the next piece of “brilliance” or clever repartée that we have to offer.

Of course the only person who lauds our communication skills at this point is ourselves. We thought we were being judged on having something witty to say to keep the conversation going, and we succeeded. Meanwhile, despite your nods and smiles, it was obvious to her that you were off somewhere else while she was saying something, everyone within earshot could tell that your, “oh, cool”, was hollow, and there's not a single person on the planet that likes to be interrupted. Not even the cleverest of lines will make up for that for better pheromones.

However, when you're talking to a friend, you aren't focused on figuring out the next thing to say -- you just listen to them. You aren't trying to think of how you can extend the conversation and so the conversation just flows naturally. One of the most common things I hear from the guys I work with is that they're fine at making conversation most of the time, but with the women they're most attracted to, or anyone to whom they feel intimidated, they fall back into bad habits and things stall. The issue clearly isn't in your abilities, but rather in the way you're approaching the situation.


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