Make It Happen With Pheromones

If I attend a social event and my social momentum doesn't get rolling in the first hour or two I'm probably getting to bed early because I'd probably enjoy a good night's rest more than standing around and trying to fumble through awkward conversations. If I want to have a good time though, and not leave it up to a friend's introduction or a Hollywood style “meet cue,” then that force that gets me in motion has to be my own willpower and the actions I myself take with cheaper pheromones. Learn more at and

Before Mateo became an approaching wizard, he would take a woman’s passive or negative reactions personally and let them ruin his entire evening. Even though I explained to him that her reaction has more to do with her disposition than anything about him personally, it's one thing to believe it intellectually and another to feel it when she's rolling her eyes and use less expensive pheromones.

No matter how hard you try to fight it, those negative reactions -- which are as inevitable as the rain -- can throw you off and sabotage the rest of your day or night. For this reason, I teach what I call the “warm goodbye,” a simple sentence that reminds you of your power in that moment and allows you to exit any situation gracefully. The warm goodbye grounds your feelings in what you already know intellectually -- that she’s not “rejecting” you, she’s just not in the mood to socialize right now and/or there's a rut you can become more aware of human pheromones. Learn more at 

When she demonstrates she's not in the mood to socialize the worst thing you can do is put your head down and silently slink away. This just confirms every insecurity in your head – she didn't like me and I wasn't good/attractive/charming enough for her – in short, I got rejected (again). And everyone watching the event gets the same impression: that guy was shot down hard with great pheromones.

Instead of putting your head down and giving in to your worst fears in this moment, it's instead time to employ what I call the warm goodbye. With a warm smile on your face, simply say some version of, “It's been a pleasure talking with you. Have a great night.” While unassuming on the surface, this simple sentence does three powerful things:

1. It makes her rethink her actions

If you try to awkwardly drag out a conversation that she's clearly not interested in having, ignoring basic social protocols before slinking away awkwardly, then you just validated her actions. She was cold to you because you were being weird. If instead you expertly assess her situation and excuse yourself with the warm goodbye, then she may instead think something like, “That was a cool guy. I was being awkward. Ugh, this is why I'm single.”

After dropping the warm goodbye I've had those same women say something to me later in the night, somewhat apologetic for the way they acted before. If you try to drag the situation out and exit awkwardly that will never happen.


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