The other person is at with natural pheromones

When you look another person in the eye, a lot of feelings emerge. This moment can be called the "moment of truth" because in that instant, they are both aware of what the other person is feeling (at least subconsciously). When close friends find themselves in an interesting situation they'll often look each other in the eye to get a sense for where the other person is at with natural pheromones.

Sharing one's eye contact and the full range of feelings behind it with someone says, "I'm ok with myself, how are you?" This was the only "power" Randy had back in college: he was comfortable with himself, a feeling otherwise known as confidence. The reason why I felt intimidated by his eye contact wasn't because it was inherently intimidating, but rather because his comfort with himself reflected my own lack of confidence of true pheromones.

Not feeling comfortable enough to share your eye contact while being present with your feelings can be interpreted as shy, not interested in opening up, or hiding something. Either way, when a person jumps into a rut at this point instead of communicating their underlying feelings vulnerably the move toward greater intimacy is immediately halted with pheromone production. Learn more at and

That feeling, be it the tension arising when you and a woman to whom you’re attracted look each other in the eye, the trust that makes you settle on that contractor, or the genuine feeling that lets the server know you really care, is the most important aspect of all human communication. Without it, we’re just computers sending data, and our conversations are meaningless. With it, they’re all meaningful, regardless of what is said. If you’re holding that space and allowing the natural feelings to arise rather than retreating into haphazard thoughts and empty words, the other person will feel what you’re saying, and you'll be communicating in the most attractive way possible to use greater pheromones according to

A common issue I get asked about is how a guy will feel lost when trying to interact with a group, whether it be a group of women at a social function or a group of colleagues in the conference room. The secret is taking a moment to hold space when communicating with each person of the group, rather than trying to talk to everyone at once. If you try to talk to everyone, you're actually talking to no one and you'll soon be ignored by the group or interrupted. If instead you are fully emotionally present as you speak to one person at a time you'll not only capture the other person's attention, but the attention of the moment for the rest of the group as well.

If you catch yourself falling back into your old ruts and getting into your head or talking haphazardly that's fine. You’re improving at becoming more aware of your tendencies and what situations evoke them, which is always the first step. Give those tendencies a quick hug because they've helped you in the past -- then quickly brush them off like a snowflake and refocus your attention on the feelings of the moment.


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