A Chance With Pheromones
That night, the curveball came in the form of three Norwegian guys, yelling and creating some commotion in the courtyard below. These guys were checking into the men’s dorm just across the courtyard, and most of the women in our circle ran over to the window to see what was up. The ringleader of the group grabbed our window sill (on the 2nd floor) and pulled himself up into our room with the help of some of those enchanted women, and then stood in the center of our circle where he proceeded to hold court with pheromone perfumes. Learn more at http://www.richardsgoldsmithing.com/agreeing-to-my-pheromones/ and http://www.eplefpa-lerobert.fr/pheromone-fantasies/
He was the proverbial “alpha male.” He had a strong, commanding presence, held space well, and told stories and jokes, all the while having the group lingering on his every word. He perfectly embodied most people’s stereotype of a master conversationalist. Not surprisingly, as I looked over to my right I saw Ana, not leaning toward me anymore but rather, toward him and giving him the look that told me her interests had shifted towards greater pheromone usage. Learn more at http://teamservir.net/absolute-master-in-you-pheromones/
While I'm certainly not proud of this, I have to admit that my first reaction in the moment was jealousy. I mean I didn't necessarily want to be the center of attention, but I was afraid that everyone -- including Ana -- would forget about me in the wake of this new guy. Of course, my thoughts at the time weren't quite so introspective. They were more along the lines of "this guy's such a cocky asshole" and "how can these people be so enamored with his bs?" and "screw them, I'll be better off on this trip on my own with better pheromones."
I was a ball of negativity, unfairly dumping my own insecurities on everyone else. More than that, I was playing the victim: I felt hurt and initially didn’t know what to do so I started blaming everyone and everything for my feelings. I was feeling sorry for myself the same way a guy who “doesn’t know what to say” simply shrugs his shoulders and feels sorry for himself because the conversation isn't going anywhere. While the situation may be different, closing up and pushing people away while making excuses and playing the victim is the same root, the same common rut.
Luckily, I became aware of what I was doing and those awful thoughts passed, only to be replaced by new ones. At least these new thoughts weren't all mopey and self-defeating like the last ones, but they were negative in their own way. They were: “Who does this guy think he's dealing with? I'm Nick Sparks -- I can be one hundred times more charismatic, funny, and charming than this clown. My stories would blow his out of the water. If I wanted to turn on my social power this guy wouldn't stand a chance of pheromones.”