Being In A Pheromones Relationship
Being a relationship and dating coach is sometimes a matter of just spinning things in a different way that allows people to process the same emotion… but from a different context that they understand pheromone communication.
Such is the delicate interplay of arguments with your woman. You may have an extremely valid point, but if you don’t convey it in a way that she can take it in without shutting down and actually process it, you might as well be speaking Russian. Learn more at http://krahvm.com/i-use-pheromones-on-all-my-adventures/ and http://www.wbadirect.org/another-pheromone-variation/
Or French if your woman is Russian.
One of the best ways of spinning something that’s bothering you about your woman is to make it about the effect on you, and not what she’s doing. Noticing a pattern here with your pheromones?
Using “I feel” statements puts the focus on the effect of her actions, and not the actions themselves. It doesn’t speak to the wrongness of her actions, or accuse her of being a jackass (even if she is being one). This is significant for a few reasons why pheromones work.
First, she doesn’t feel as attacked as he would otherwise, which keeps her mind open to your needs. Her walls and defenses aren’t immediately up on all her pheromones. Learn more at http://www.yuanct.com/subliminal-pheromones/ and http://www.jlltda.com/impact-of-natural-pheromones/
Second, it emphasizes that you’re more interested in solving an issue rather than just complaining about it.
Finally, it prevents the blame game by implicitly assuming some of the responsibility, which keeps her non-defensive.
So instead of saying “You don’t wash the dishes enough, what’s your problem,” skew towards “I feel like you expect me to wash the dishes after cooking all the time and that makes me feel really unappreciated.” You’re not condemning her actions, but rather talking about how they affect your life with cheaper pheromones.
If your woman has any semblance of sympathy and caring, she will want to change these things herself to prevent you from feeling that way, which is a far stronger motivator than being nagged at. People like to view themselves in certain lights… and will cling to those perceptions and fight tooth and nail to keep them intact.
If you challenge someone on that perception, you are essentially challenging them on their identity, which is never taken lightly and always grounds for becoming defensive. But when something central to us is appealed to, it’s a subtle affirmation of our own self-image that we’ve worked so hard to cultivate… and we will indulge in it as much as possible. It feels good to be right about ourselves, have others recognize it, and be able to continue to prove it.
Quick example: you pride yourself on your emotional intelligence and empathy, and someone accuses you of being insensitive to someone’s needs. Your gut reaction will probably be either flat out denial, or a strongly negative reaction that will lead to you being very hurt and questioning your abilities.